Tag Archives: life

How do you turn a bird into a soul singer?

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You microwave it until its bill withers, arf. I thought of labelling this post “Not your average white band” but the Bill Withers joke beat it by a margin.

The magic of photography manages to make this look like a smoke filled jazz lair rather than the eminently respectable and entirely smoke-free Charles Maude Room of Abingdon School. Though the rows of politely attentive audience might also be a clue. This represents, though I say it myself, a really quite good recovery job via Photoshop on a picture taken in a dim room by my phone on Saturday night.


Young Michael S, second band member from the left and playing bass, is a pupil at said school and has a close relative suffering from Addison’s Disease. And so, completely off his own bat, he arranged an evening of jazz and funk at the school to raise money for the relevant charity. He was ably assisted by a friend from church on keyboard, a friend of the friend from church on drums, and teachers on trumpet, sax and guitar. The sax teacher has apparently played with Manfred Mann, though whether that is the original group, the Earth Band or the individual I do not know.

And flipping good it was too: two hours of tunes by people I know or know of (Hoagy Carmichael, Gershwin, the Average White Band, Mr Withers) and people I don’t. A great time had by all and, I hope, lots of money raised. If Mike can keep going like that non-stop for a two hour gig, despite being the youngest in the band by a good 10 years, then great things lie in store for him. He was at primary school with Bonusbarn. I’m posting this now to register the fact, when he’s famous, that we knew him first …

Lost soles

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They look like something on the seabed picked out by the lights of a submersible, but these shoes have a story. I suppose any shoes you’ve owned for at least six years would accumulate experience but I like to think these ones are special.

I forget if I acquired them specifically for my first ever trip to the USA in 2002 but I know I was wearing them at the time. So, these shoes have traversed the North American continent. They have felt the waves of the Pacific slap the boards beneath them as they stood on Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco. They have trod the baking hot dirt of the Cahokia Mounds in Illinois. They have been up the Empire State Building and the Washington Monument, they have walked the length of the National Mall and they have stood in reverent silence before the giant statue of Abraham Lincoln in his Memorial.

They only survived this long by taking a cunning sideways step a few years ago into being my indoor shoes. They have a strange fleecy lining that stops them getting too warm in hot weather but keeps them nicely warm when it’s cold. Even so they really were getting past it and made the fundamental mistake of becoming uncomfortable to wear, due to the split soles on either side. Overconfidence, perhaps? So they have, with all due respect and ceremony, been consigned to the kitchen bin. I will probably never see them again. If I do, I’ll know something has gone badly wrong, probably in the kitchen.

I don’t know if it’s meaningful to tell a new pair of shoes that they must fill a big pair of, um, shoes, but that’s what I’d tell their replacements if I could and it was.

Who, me?

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“I am pleased to inform you that today, March 4, 2008 Emerald Who’s Who for Executives and Professionals has selected you as potential candidate into our organization to represent Didcot, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom. Your professional experience with Great Big Network Ltd as Technical Editor has been recognized and has qualified you to possibly be included. Emerald Who’s Who is the authority for professional networking and recognition in virtually every industry across the globe.”

My colleague N asks why I get emails like this when he just gets spammed by Vistaprint. I tell him a man is known by the company he keeps. I’m awed that my experience has been recognised by such an august body, even if they plainly assume my five years of service have also stripped me of all critical discernment. Thankfully, I still retain the ability to recognise at least three grammatical errors in the above – and also to spot that they spell the name of Great Big Network Ltd wrong.

Let’s not go anywhere near the idea that I might want to represent Didcot. At anything.

But let’s not be sourpusses either. There is no charge for inclusion and they kindly send me the link by which I can enter my own details. So, to be selected into Emerald Who’s Who to represent wherever you live, just go to http://www.ewwep.com/signup.asp?ID=SXEUR.80.120.030409