Abominable Christian Education

Until today I had never heard of Accelerated Christian Education. Now I have and I feel diminished by the experience.

The source was this article on the BBC, about a system of schooling that must surely qualify for the Millstone Around the Neck and Drowned in the Depth of the Sea Award. Please, please, please, please, please will Christians get over the them-or-us mentality that allows them to accept uncritically (or grudgingly defend, or even just tolerate because, well, you know, bits of it are okay) anything that has the word “Christian” in it. It isn’t: by which I mean, the Christ after whom it is named would be rubbing his eyes and gaping with disbelief that anyone can not only be teaching this rubbish but doing so in his name. That’s when the eyes weren’t flooded with tears, because he made everything so simple and some idiots following him had to go and make it so complicated.

So let me just dash off a few of the things I regard as quite fundamental in my view of Christianity, inspired by the article and by browsing the Leaving Fundamentalism blog that is cited [warning: the guy’s story is heartbreaking; you can only cheer that he made it out sane]. Each of these is the product of many years’ thought and, might I add, scriptural study, by a man* who believes without reservation that Jesus Christ is the virgin-born physically resurrected Son of God who died for our sins. I will not only be glad to debate about these by personal correspondence but will support with scripture. Had I time then I would write a book, but this is my lunch hour. So:

  • Believing in evolution and an Earth that is billions of years old enhances God’s glory, not diminishes. Creationism is not only an insult to human intelligence but it does God down. The God – the Jesus – I believe in is so much bigger and better.
  • There may be a Hell, and the people who go there may well have rejected Jesus, but that is a statement of values, not magic. To say “I accept or reject Jesus” means to accept or reject the values and the outlook and the worldview of Jesus, whether or not you believe in (or have even heard of) the Messiah / Jewish prophet / beardy weirdy of that name who lived a long time ago. Meanwhile, no one gets into Heaven because they said the magic words or “did good” – it is entirely down to God’s grace (though I grant there may be an overlap in the two sets that could lead to a false impression of causality). And as only God can know the state of someone’s heart, no one – no one – gets to pronounce who is going / has gone to Hell based on outward appearance or statements of belief.
  • Same sex marriage? Knock yourself out.
  • Masturbation? Well, God gave you hands ….
  • Smoking? Alcohol? The Earth is the Lord’s and everything in it.

Rant over. For now …

* i.e. me, in case there’s still any confusion.


Rev review rant

Rev is, by all accounts, quite good. The pre-publicity was promising. Post-performance reviews were upbeat. I would have liked to have seen it.

I have not yet been able to see it.

I didn’t watch it when broadcast, because 10pm is a silly time for people who have to get up at 5.45 the next morning. No matter, I thought, I would wait to watch it on Virgin TV catch-up.

Except that the next day it wasn’t available on catch-up. And when it finally did get there … it’s in HD.

It’s in frakkin’ HD.

H bloody D.


This is a 30 minute sitcom, you morons. What sad obsessives watch a sitcom for the effing HD?

No one, is the answer. No – one. At all. Ever. In the history of the world. Has watched a sitcom and thought: “you know, this would look better in HD.”

But I think I have the answer. A sneaking suspicion. It’s those TV people again – you know, the ones who work for the greatest public service broadcaster in the world and have no conception of what TV programmes actually are, so doing silly things like ruining the end of Dr Who with a plug for Graham Norton is quite acceptable. Programmes are televisual product, that is all: no finesse or understanding is required. HD is the new technology: it is policy to push the new technology. Rev is a new series: it is policy to push new serieses. Therefore, Rev must be pushed in HD. Stands to reason, doesn’t it?

These are the same people who about ten years ago were assaulting our screens with those endless stupid adverts for Comedy Monday, where police pursue some comedian who has made the mistake of being funny on a day that isn’t Monday, because the BBC has decreed Monday is Comedy Monday. The logic, in their tiny brains, is impeccable. Two Pints is (allegedly) comedy; Goodness Gracious Me is (very definitely) comedy; therefore we’ll put all our comedy shows on Monday evening so that they can all be watched by people who like comedy. “There’s a time and place for comedy. Save it for Mondays.” It still makes me wake up in cold sweats.


Rev is available on iPlayer, so all is not lost. I would have liked to have been able to watch it with my wife but apparently it’s not to be. I suppose she could watch it at the same time on the PC in the living room and after we could compare notes. Technology, eh?

Department of Oh Get Over Yourself You Big Tart

From the Beeb:

“A legal battle has begun in an attempt to stop prayers being said before a Devon council’s meetings.

The National Secular Society (NSS) is seeking a judicial review over whether prayers said at Bideford Town Council breach human rights legislation.”

No. They don’t. Legislation, maybe, that being a purely artificial construct. Human rights, no.

The regime currently ruling Burma/Myanmar breaches human rights.

The Taliban breach human rights.

A town council that has voted, twice, to keep the prayers before its meetings start isnot breaching human rights. You don’t like it, turn up to meetings five minutes late. Or mutter “arse” when everyone mutters “amen”. Or whatever. Exercise your own human rights in response. But stop whining when a democratic vote offends you.

And while I’m in full Tunbridge Wells mode, telling a teenager to pull his trousers up doesn’t breach his human rights either. I’m reasonably certain my right not to have a human backside thrust into my face takes priority.

End of rant. Resume your lives.