Category Archives: Life

Rev review rant

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Rev is, by all accounts, quite good. The pre-publicity was promising. Post-performance reviews were upbeat. I would have liked to have seen it.

I have not yet been able to see it.

I didn’t watch it when broadcast, because 10pm is a silly time for people who have to get up at 5.45 the next morning. No matter, I thought, I would wait to watch it on Virgin TV catch-up.

Except that the next day it wasn’t available on catch-up. And when it finally did get there … it’s in HD.

It’s in frakkin’ HD.

H bloody D.

Why??

This is a 30 minute sitcom, you morons. What sad obsessives watch a sitcom for the effing HD?

No one, is the answer. No – one. At all. Ever. In the history of the world. Has watched a sitcom and thought: “you know, this would look better in HD.”

But I think I have the answer. A sneaking suspicion. It’s those TV people again – you know, the ones who work for the greatest public service broadcaster in the world and have no conception of what TV programmes actually are, so doing silly things like ruining the end of Dr Who with a plug for Graham Norton is quite acceptable. Programmes are televisual product, that is all: no finesse or understanding is required. HD is the new technology: it is policy to push the new technology. Rev is a new series: it is policy to push new serieses. Therefore, Rev must be pushed in HD. Stands to reason, doesn’t it?

These are the same people who about ten years ago were assaulting our screens with those endless stupid adverts for Comedy Monday, where police pursue some comedian who has made the mistake of being funny on a day that isn’t Monday, because the BBC has decreed Monday is Comedy Monday. The logic, in their tiny brains, is impeccable. Two Pints is (allegedly) comedy; Goodness Gracious Me is (very definitely) comedy; therefore we’ll put all our comedy shows on Monday evening so that they can all be watched by people who like comedy. “There’s a time and place for comedy. Save it for Mondays.” It still makes me wake up in cold sweats.

Morons.

Rev is available on iPlayer, so all is not lost. I would have liked to have been able to watch it with my wife but apparently it’s not to be. I suppose she could watch it at the same time on the PC in the living room and after we could compare notes. Technology, eh?

Facebook gets its man

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You can run from Facebook but you can’t hide. Middle Godson’s father tells me:

“You now have a Facebook page:http://www.facebook.com/pages/Ben-Jeapes/103136406393148 because people like me have said that we like your books in our facebook profiles.”

Well, whoever the other guy is, thanks to both of you and I will try to be worthy of your trust.

I have occasionally thought of reviving my Facebook account. I could defriend-

[Defriend? How the hell did that word ever become meaningful? If language shapes cognition – the jury will always be out, but face it, it must do to at least some degree – then a whole generation is growing up with the idea that one of the priceless treasures of being human, the ability to have friends, is something that can, nay should, be ended with the click of a button. It’s a horrible, horrible word. If Facebook is ever hauled before some kind of Nuremberg for the crimes of society, this will be the first item on the charge sheet.]

– everyone I rashly signed up with in the early days when everyone was doing it, change my status to “writing” and leave it at that. This would be a way of dealing with all those people who start a conversation with something like “are you writing anything at the moment?” or “how’s the writing going?”

To which the best answers are respectively “yes” and “fine, thanks, how’s the marriage?”, though I’ve never quite had the courage to use the latter because I know they’re just trying to be friendly and wanting to have a conversation, and it would be like kicking a puppy. The implication of the latter response is meant to be that the question is far too personal and complex for the kind of short-term small talk they’re thinking of.

But, speaking of writing, this is my morning pre-work writing time so I’d better get on with some. I’m within 20 pages of finishing the current Work-in-Progress’s final comb-through. See, I’m sharing information already.

Fezzes are cool

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Okay, I know everyone was waiting for my reaction to the Dr Who finale, like my good opinion is the sole decider on whether there’s a new series.

Well, you can all relax because I enjoyed it. Enjoyed it because it wasn’t as sheerly awful as the last few DW finales have been. Enjoyed it because faith in the Moff has been vindicated. Enjoyed it because it was heart warming and well acted. Enjoyed it because after far too long we finally get a vaguely menacing Dalek – ironically, after their relaunch in new child-friendly dayglo colours, in monochrome.

(When this one is up for a Hugo (as I suspect it will be), and they play a clip from it, I hope they show the bit with River and the Dalek. Edited update that occurs to me hours later: “One alpha meson burst through your eyestalk would kill you stone dead.” So why doesn’t it just look away? HA-HA! I AM TURN-ING MY HEAD! YOU CAN-NOT SEE ME!)

But, it was still just as silly as all the other finales – just better done. It’s still TVSF, a medium on which I have previously recorded my thoughts. So I will spoil everyone’s fun and pick holes in it.

First of all – my one disappointment – I was hoping that the extremely unlikely grand alliance of unholy races at the end of last week was yet another illusion because it was just so unlikely. But no, apparently not. We’ll put that to one side.

Now, 1800 years ago, it appears, every star in the universe was unmade. I lost track of whether they subsequently never had existed at all, or whether they just exploded, which would have bathed this world in a sterilising wash of radiation that burned the very microbes off the topmost layer of rock. Never mind. We can assume that since then Earth has developed more or less as before but with absolutely no knowledge of stars. Heat and light in the meantime provided by a permanently exploding TARDIS.

Yet everything else we saw about history seems exactly the same. They had World War 2. They have Richard Dawkins. Did they have Copernicus? Galileo? The heliocentric theory came about as the only one to explain the movement of stars, sun, Earth and other planets all in relation to each other. Did that happen? Somehow during WW2 fleets of Luftwaffe bombers still managed to find their way in the dark to London. Handy things, stars, if you’ve got them. Not easily replaced if you don’t.

(Besides, it’s an established fact that a race which grows up with no knowledge of stars turns into a race of charming, delightful, intelligent, whimsical, manic xenophobes.)

I know, I know. Wibbly wobbly timey wimey. But like so much TVSF, it all falls apart if you look too closely; and while the logical treatment of time travel verges on Einsteinian by RTD standards, Bill & Ted did it all more funnily a long time ago. Books will always be better …

But, it was a very nice bit of TV, for all the above reasons. However, I do hope that people stop phoning the Doctor up with their problems – he’s not Batman, you know. His adventures work best when he turns up at random. Much more of this and they’ll be summoning him by beaming the image of the Seal of Rassilon onto a planet.

We have an interesting dynamic in the TARDIS crew, with a married couple now on board, but as it is still their wedding day I hope the Doc allows them a little privacy. I don’t believe there’s any canonical record of that kind of activity on the ship before now but there’s a first time for everything.