The CIA is hiring!

And I don’t mean the Church in Abingdon.

According to their vacancies page, “This includes Clandestine Service Officers to be on the front line of human intelligence.” Along with people like Einstein and Hawking? These will be recruited into the National Clandestine Service, the service so clandestine it – um – has a name with “clandestine” in the title. In this field they’re basically looking for people to recruit traitors in other countries, but strangely they feel the need for a sexier sounding job title.

Open Source Officer (Foreign Media Analyst) looks fun, but on closer inspection they have a different understanding to “open source”. I could reasonably go for Publications OfficerLibrarian or Graphic Designer. I have a certificate to say that I successfully completed the LRQA Internal QMS Auditor Course but, even so,Contract Auditor would just be too scary – all depends on what you mean by contracts, eh, nudge nudge wink wink?

Of course, this all leaves aside the needlessly picky requirement of being a US citizen. I bet I know more American history than most Americans, and if Hollywood is anything to be (and has it ever let you down?) the CIA can employ both Brian Cox (Scottish) and Russell Crowe (Australian) so I could probably swing it.