Just in case any Scrooge-like feelings come creeping in this Christmas, I know I’ll be cheered up by my recent discovery that “While shepherds watched their flocks by night” (most irredeemably boring of all 19th century Yuletide dirges) can be sung to the tune of “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” from Mary Poppins.
I doubt I will hear it sung this way, but just knowing it exists will bring me no end of festive cheer. The only thing that could make it even better would be if it could be sung by a chorus of dancing penguins.
Driving to Oxford and back I had to decide what to set the iPod to. Of late I’ve worked through all my REM songs, my collection of carols, all the classical stuff, all the synth pop … I know, I’ll set it to shuffle through the musical tracks.
And then I’ll pass the time by working out a plot to encompass them all.
Track 1: “At the end of the day” (Les Mis). Easy. There’s a lot of poor, discontented people and one woman in particular is forced to prostitution for losing her job.
Track 2: “Everything’s alright” (Jesus Christ, Superstar). Sounds like she landed on her feet, falling in with a nice guy who stands up for her even when one of his friends complains about her expensive tastes in perfume. Mind you, he also comes out with the slightly bummer comment that the poor will always be with us, which coming after track 1 is perhaps a little smug.
Track 3: “Invitation to the Jellical Ball” (Cats). Our girl’s luck is still in: she gets an invite to the coolest party on the block.
Track 4: “I feel pretty” (West Side Story). Her star is truly in the ascendant. She’s met an even nicer guy – or maybe she’s just fallen properly in love with the nice guy from track 2 – not sure (the libretto could do with a bit of work here). Her friends are sceptical. To be quite honest, though the tunes are fun this is turning out quite a dull, feel-good sort of thing that Doris Day might have starred in.
Track 5: “One day more” (Les Mis). Aha! Revolution is brewing. That’s more like it. I knew there had to be something more.
Can’t wait for Act 2.
Tomorrow is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. I will be seriously disappointed if I meet anyone who does any such thing.
I will however buy a drink for anyone I meet who observes International Talk Like Dr Stephen Maturin Day.