EDITOR PRINGLE

(with apologies to Stephen Sondheim, not to mention David Pringle)

Dear kindly David Pringle
My story is enclosed
I'm sure you'll feel a tingle
When you read my prose
You want some hard science fiction?
I have to be your man
Stephen Baxter!
I'm his greatest fan!

Dear Editor Pringle, it's been half a year
Have you heard from Leeds yet? What is going on here?
Maybe you loathed it, it might have been junk.
I'll try and write some cyberpunk.
Cyberpunk!
Cyberpunk, cyberpunk, cyberpunk, punk, punk
I'll try and write some cyberpunk

Dear editor of IZ
This story cannot fail
My granny and Aunt Di said
It has to be a sale
The white hope for the 90s
That person will be me
Hugo awards!
Just you wait and see!

Dear Editor Pringle, you cannot mean this
"It doesn't hang together" - surely something's amiss?
It had lots of computers and special effects
I know! It needs more kinky sex
Kinky sex!
Kinky sex, kinky sex, kinky sex, sex, sex
I know! It needs more kinky sex!

Dear Deity of Brighton
This one's the big breakthrough
With sex and drugs it's right on
(Genetic warfare too!)
It makes compulsive reading
Puts Brian in the shade
Look out Newman!
I have got it made!

Dear Editor Pringle, my patience is thin
I don't like "derivative", I prefer "origin-
-al". If you don't like it, well, I know who does
I'll send it off to Midnight Rose
Midnight Rose!
Midnight Rose, Midnight Rose, Midnight Rose, Rose, Rose
I'll send it off to Midnight Rose*